"Individuals approaching death often experience encounters with their dead relatives, who seem to welcome them to the next world. These deathbed visions are authentic and convincing; they are often followed by a state of euphoria and seem to ease the transition."
Stanislav Grof The Ultimate Journey: Consciousness and the mystery of death.
“While I still don't have all the answers, the one thing I can tell you for certain is that there are things that defy medical explanation, and that in between here and whatever comes next, there is something powerful and peaceful.” Hadley Vlahos, The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments
I recently lost a very good friend. As I get older, the idea of death becomes more and more real, and I struggle with it just like everybody else. Attending his funeral, I was treated to both somber words and joyful music. I know that there will be more funerals to attend in the future, leading up to my own some day.
I've learned more about death from those who've experienced it than from anything else. There's are many good books on the subject- Life after Life, by Raymond Moody, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware, The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch, and the book I recently finished, The In Between, by Hadley Vlahos, a hospice nurse who writes about her dealings with people about to die.
The thing that struck me about Vlahos's book was its descriptions of visitations from dead relatives that only the dying person could see and interact with. When someone gets very close to death, they often report seeing a loved one, sometimes a person who has died recently. That loved one comforts them and supposedly helps guide them through the scary transition from one life to another.
This phenomenon is fairly common from what I can tell, but rarely talked about. Scientists chalk it up to hallucinations caused by decreased oxygen in the brain, but these don't seem like random hallucinations. They are meaningful encounters that bring great peace to those who are facing their mortality. Another theory is that these are angels who are disguised as people that we know, sent there to bring familiarity and peace to someone who is likely afraid and lonely.
When my mother passed away, the nurse there told us that she was crying out for "Jackie", who was neither a parent nor her deceased husband. Jackie was her Down Syndrome brother who had passed away recently. I was not there to witness it, but the story gave me the chills.
If this phenomenon is real, and I'm thinking that it could be, it provides great comfort to my main anxiety about death. (And in general I'm very suspicious of anything that gives people comfort, because inconvenient truths are more common and readily ignored.) My main anxiety about death isn't losing my body or missing out on future events.
My main worry is that I will cease to exist after I die. I know that most of my memories, thoughts, and life lessons are stored in my brain, and once that's gone, I'm gone too. Because what am I besides what I have learned in this lifetime? It seems such a shame to see that all go to waste. Even if I was reincarnated, would I remember any of the things that meant the most to me in this life? I've come a long way from a depressed young boy who kept to himself. I'd hate to have to start that all again.
Perhaps the things that make us special aren't stored only in our brain. Perhaps they are also stored in a literal cloud. Could there be an entire dimension that the living cannot see that only becomes apparent at death? We all will find out eventually.
Deathbed phenomena give me great hope. Not only is it possible that our loved ones who proceeded us somehow continued on, but their love and memories of us endured. Which means that our love and memories can endure in some form. No, we might not recall our graduation day or what we had for breakfast before we died, but the big, important things could still be there. And best of all, whatever lies beyond death, someone we love and trust could be there to guide us through what has to be a tough and disorienting experience.
Today's billionaires fear death so much that they are investing in cryonics, the science of freezing the body before death so that it can be revived decades later when science finds a way to extend their lives. They also don't want to lose their money, which would fall into limbo if they are technically not dead yet. There's something unnatural about all of that. Death is cleansing in a way, and we see it everywhere in the natural world. There cannot be birth and rebirth without death. People being hooked up to tubes in order to squeeze out a few extra years doesn't sound like much of a life to me.
Without an ending, a story has little meaning. What was the purpose of it all? Death gives us a deadline to work towards. It gives us a marker to use for life planning, and it's my hope that the afterlife is a place for forgiveness and re-evaluation of the lessons missed and learned. Our human brains are guided by hormones, fears, and anxieties that cause us to do stupid and foolish things. How we learn from those actions determines what kind of person we evolve into.
I'm not a particularly religious person. In the afterlife, we may meet Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, or a flock of angels. I would rather meet someone that I knew and trusted. None of us knows until that day comes. But I do believe in karma- the idea that our actions throughout life, good or bad, come back to us in many ways, especially after we die. Most religions seem to teach this. Without karma, love, or meaning, our lifetimes are just a bunch of molecules and cells following logical pathways.
Knowing that I could continue to grow and exist in some form after death is both comforting and challenging. It inspires me to keep on learning and growing in my old age, because that's what I think we are here for, and that is the only mission for each soul. When my body finally gives out isn't entirely up to me, though I can do my best to keep it healthy while I live in it.
The stories around this phenomenon are fascinating. Hospice Nurse Julie has a popular You Tube channel where she discusses many of them. If you read the comments section on You Tube you will see hundreds more of them. Here is one of many videos that she has put out.
Comentarios